Date: Sun, 07 Jan 2001 06:03:04 -0800
Subject: good advice and the decision
the first news is that it ain't fleas in my hair, i probably have headlice... wheeee
caught off the kids... oh well, i shall deal with it as soon as i am done here...
the advice you guys gave was good and though provoking... and i have made, what i think is the best decision under the circumstances. which is:
we have bought the little house. but it's in my name, that way no-one can fuck with it, or re-sell it. oh yes, mihaly had already made plans to do so... but he didn't figure on someone telling me. so i have bought the house for grandfather, in my name. he will bring katika and janoska with him to the new house as soon as it is fixed up. there is hotwater to be brought in with the purchase of a hotwater heater, and all the pipes and faucets. just made the arrangement for all that. then, the electrical wiring needs to be fixed, then grandfather will whitewash what needs to be witewashed, and then he will build a bathtub from cement and whatever tiling we can scrounge.
after which, a bit of furniture... 2 beds, a wardrobe. there is already a nice wooden table and a couple of chairs... also, there is a little desk for katika and homework. she is very proud of this. then we need to get blankets etc... in fact, everything. cause grandfather will take nothing from the old place. for one, everything there is filthy and full of various vermin, for two, there is now tremendous ill-will towards him and well, myself as well. seeing as i became aware of mihaly already plotting to re-sell the house and i suppose i totally blew his plan. i did this by putting the house in my name, with a contract between grandfather and i, giving him perpetual residency. as soon as katika is 18 and can no longer be fucked over by a stupid and greedy parent, i will transfer ownership to her. this is grandfather's wish and i agree. he knows that if he gets sick and if he dies, unless she is protected they will take it from her.
so that is what is to happen, the papers are to be signed tomorrow.
of course, now terrible things are happening at mihaly and melindas. their revenge for me establishing a safety-zone for the children (which in fact this is to be, because grandfather is a good and responsible person and any and all of the children will always find shelter with him) is for melinda to forbid the children from speaking to me. very sad. i saw a couple of them a few hours ago. they are afraid to speak to me cause if they do their father will beat them. nice, huh.
but hell, i have known for some time of their parents' ah, moral shortcomings. and have acted accordingly. and this is a good decision, positive. the children who will live with grandfather will have a safe home, and will be attending a *real* school... he is very aware of the utter importance of not growing up illiterate, of not perpetrating ignorance.
the little money that i have been gathering every month since last summer, the $10/week that i have been sending to the rev noemi with which she had been buying them food every week, will now also change. grandfather is to get this instead, and as he is an honest man noemi no longer has to buy the food with the money... we can now just give it to him directly. we trust him to buy the neccessities.
oh yes, they still will be very poor. only they will be a little bit safer. it is a small window, but is now open.
makes me kinda happy, all this.
well, the shit with the parents does not make me happy, of course. and that i can do nothing. and those poor hungry children. not allowed to speak to me, hah. i was the one good thing in their lives.
grandfather and i talked it over. he says, not to worry. he says, the children will eventually be gravitating to his house, anyways. and that it is better this way. they will always have a place with him, clean. and food. that i was pouring it all into a leaky bucket. he is very pissed off at his daughter and her husband. he says, they are dishonest and that you reap what you sow. he is right.
i like grandfather a lot. these days, he is smiling a lot more. it's good to see. if he were my father i would be happy for him, no hope, and now hope. it is difficult for me to understand melinda's reaction to all this, if he were *my* father, taking care of *my* children... yeah yeah... i cannot understand her, or at least, what i understand makes me very angry.
so i stay away from there now. though there is still needs that i have been and will finish filling. such as getting healthcare paid for and established. both for them and for zsuzsa and her family, downstairs. seeing as her husband just lost his job. every time i did go over there i do always bring some bread, just some basics. but i cannot help anyone zsuzsa further than that... there simply is not enough and i have had to establish priorities.
which now is grandfather, katika, janoska... and we are hoping for mihaly, the 14 yr old. i have a feeling he will be running away... and hope that that is where he runs. chances are good.
i have hope for this kid. though he has a very difficult road ahead... his father is already putting him to work. at 14. work that his father should be doing.
i hope you guys understand what a fucking emotional roller-coaster all this is... i mean, i do love these kids, and no, i do not like their parents. took me a while of coming to that, i did make a lot of allowances for desperate poverty and all that that means... but there are ways, and then there are ways. i can deal with filth but i cannot deal with beatings.
heh... i didn't tell you... once, when we were standing outside of the clinic waiting for something... mihaly and melinda said, pointing to the jewish synagogue down the street... that they had heard that jews steal babies and draw their blood and that the synagogue's pinkish paintjob is the result of these children's blood being mixed in it.
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